Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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