I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize