Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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