ugly people sure do ruin things
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
