he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
