Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
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