I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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