i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
