I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize