I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
