i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
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Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
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I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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