I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
