Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
