Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am available for nakedness
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
