Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
it was like having sex with a tree stump
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
