I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
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