I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
