Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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