Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
