Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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