i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
