I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
