My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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