just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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