Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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