i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
they need to just BURY HIM!
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
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