So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
We have started to decorate penises.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
