can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
