Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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