Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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