who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
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I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
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Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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