Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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