if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
