it wasn't lemon gatorade
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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