And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
