Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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