I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
