Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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