i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
