i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
This toilet bowl is my home.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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