I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
do nipples grow back?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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