I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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