I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
