What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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