If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
