This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
