Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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