Already got asked if we're dating
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
