u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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