Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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