I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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