let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
