Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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