It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
