i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
