It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
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he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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