do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I wish there were birth control emojis
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
