My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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