I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I believe in your delicious
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
