The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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