And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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