They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
