The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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